Pretty much the title, but with myself (21M) being on dating apps and getting back into dating, I want to know how to be desired just as much as I desire people. Feels like I get a 3-4 week trial then it just ends. And I’ve seen my women friends when they desire someone. I’ve also seen other women when they desire a guy they are talking to. They get excited when they get text back, excited to make plans, talk about it all the time, feel lovesick, etc. I’ve asked them what makes them feel that way and they never give a clear answer/say it’s hard to explain what makes them feel that way, but seeing how there are dudes who will be yearned for, I just dont know how to present myself as someone who is wanted. Do I need to text less? Make myself less available? Dress more appealingly (like button downs unbuttoned, henleys, pants etc)? Look more revealing in profiles/social media? Show status off more? I dont know how to be desired, and I just want to be desired by someone I also desire. Ik the basic answer is the right one will, but the way it’s been going, I dont think someone will want me that way. (Repost because I was inactive last time and got it removed)
I want intimacy so bad. I want to love and be loved. I want to touch someone who wants to touch me and be touched by me. But sadly, I’m neurodivergent and never got proper socialization. Everything I’ve read about guides for intimacy makes it sound impossible. I’m supposed to magically just know how someone wants to be touched through extremely subtle body signals. I’m somehow supposed to simultaneously know when I’m supposed to kiss and touch someone, and when to kiss and touch them more, and see the almost nonexistent signal change that means I have to immediately stop. But god fucking forbid I or my partner just says what they want. Because that “kills the mood”. The ideal sexual encounter would be my partner giving me step by step instructions to satisfy them, and then me doing it. But no, apparently im supposed to just magically have the knowledge of exactly how I’m supposed to touch them. And I can’t ask either, because asking about intimacy both kills the mood and cannot be trusted to be freely given. I hate this. I hate all of this. I hate that because of how I was born and because of experiences out of my control, I will never get to experience satisfying someone intimately. If you’re reading this, and you regularly get to kiss or cuddle or even have sex with someone, you have absolutely no idea how lucky you are. Count your blessings, please.
